17 December 2012

With No Affiliation to Adam Lanza: I am Charissa Herka

"Sometimes I'm old enough to keep routine, sometimes I'm child enough to scream." - The Get Up Kids

After reading I Am Adam Lanza's Mother, I felt compelled to write this blog. I am in no way an expert, doctor, therapist, or anything of the like; but I am human, have my own brain and my own heart, that most of the time, work against me. I will not mention any names in this blog to protect the privacy of my loved ones, but I will promise you my sincere emotion. I will be real.

When such tragedy strikes, the nation is compelled to scream out against gun law reform and mental health reform, here and there, but 2 weeks ago, where were they at when their adult child didn't get out of bed for 5 days? Where were they when their oldest son was smoking crack for the last 15 years, and one time, 6 years ago, I begged and pleaded with his parents to help me help him? What was everybody doing then? Not a damn thing. Denying, ignoring, and misunderstanding, to say the least... and then asking me to bail him out of jail..

When your brain is screaming at your skull that it needs to get out, what do you do? Do you laugh, do you cry? Do you listen to everyone tell you your "crazy" or your "not crazy." Do you dope yourself up on medication that is supposed to help, but in reality, only sedates you to be able to sleep it off until tomorrow? Until tomorrow is screaming in your face and your raging and crying and feeling every single emotions trickling down your spine. What then?

You barely have medical insurance to cover an office visit, let alone the $230.00 30-day prescription supply. People have said prison might help with that, but then again, that's prison. Half of the time, the only way an inmate gets to see Mental Health is when they're raging and screaming that they're going to hang themselves in their cell.

When is this going to change? All of this. Mental health care? Prison health care?